I thought that in honour of Chuck Norris’ birthday today, I could birth a baby. Fortunately I have been growing one for nearly 10 months for an occassion such as this. Do you think they sell sleeveless buttoned down denim shirts complete with holsters over the shoulders, for newborns? Apparently the not-so-little guy is roughly 9lbs right now… yikes! I asked the ultrasound technician if he also had a moustache — she indicated that she can’t tell that from an ultrasound. I bet he does. In the spirit of not overbaking this child, and avoiding a Benjamin Button situation, I respectfully ask that this baby be born today both in honour of Mr. Norris’ big day and out of sympathy for my poor pelvis which feels like it is being ripped apart like a Thankgiving wishbone. #ShortyGotLowLowLowLowEtc #HurryUpBabyHill #ImReady #HappyBirthdayChuckNorris #MyWombIsTooHospitable #TickTockTickTockTickTock #WhatYouWaitingFor